Farewell Talk

In his october 2017 talk, Elder Ronald A. Rasband asks ‘What should you be looking for in your own life? What are God’s miracles that remind you that He is close, saying, “I am right here”? Think of those times, some daily, when the Lord has acted in your life—and then acted again. Treasure them as moments the Lord has shown confidence in you and in your choices. But allow Him to make more of you than you can make of yourself on your own. Treasure His involvement. Sometimes we consider changes in our plans as missteps on our journey. Think of them more as first steps to being “on the Lord’s errand.”’ This particular quote from Elder Rasband is what i was given to speak to you all about today. I've never really received a topic like this to speak on, usually it's like prayer, or scripture study, or prophets, so i feel like an actual adult now. Anyway, his talk was titled “By Divine Design” and i was like ‘ oh i feel like that's kind of perfect for me!’ cuz i have never believed in coincidences. and as i read through it I could tell that this talk/ topic was indeed given to me by “divine design”, and im grateful it's what I was given to work with. 

In his talk, Elder Rasband explains that everything happens for a reason and that “Heavenly Father can put us in situations with a specific intent in mind.” When Heavenly Father does put us in certain situations that we had not anticipated, or when he asks us to do something we don't want to do, how do we respond? Do we respond like Jonah when commanded to go to Nineveh? Do we book a plane in the complete opposite direction and come up with every excuse not to do the thing the Lord asked of us? Or do we respond like Alma when he was told to “return to the city of Ammonihah, and preach again unto the people of the city”? It says in the scriptures that when the Lord commanded Alma to go back to the wicked city, “he returned speedily to the land of Ammonihah and he entered the city by another way.” Not only did Alma drop everything and obey the Lord, but he found a way to achieve what the lord asked him to do even though it was difficult. He could've been like, ‘uh, lord, I can't go back to the city they spat on me and cast me out’, but instead he was like ‘oh okay awesome i can work with this’ and he found another way into the city where the Lord led Alma to his future missionary companion. 

When we respond to commandments or revelation “speedily” just as alma did we are blessed in countless ways. It shows to the Lord that he can trust us and that we are ready to receive more revelation. 

Ever since I received my patriarchal blessing I knew I wanted to serve a mission, but I wasn't entirely on board. I had a lot of self doubt. When the time came close for me to put my papers in I prayed and fasted about whether a mission was right for me, and didn't really receive an answer. So I just concluded that the Lord wanted me to use my agency and I figured that if I made the wrong decision he would stop me before I got too far. Despite my uncertainties and self doubts, i put my papers in a couple months before I turned 19. I waited almost two months before hearing back from the missionary department and i was like okay this is really weird usually it only takes like three weeks, something is wrong. But when me and my parents met with the stake president in september, who finally had news, he told us the mission department wanted me to go to college or live away from home for a while and then to get some counseling for my anxiety. (In case any of you haven't noticed, I have really bad anxiety, hence the stuttering and fast-paced talking that has most likely occurred during this talk.) Naturally, I was severely disappointed and a little bit shocked. But I trusted that the Lord knew this was what I needed. I prayed about what the Lord wanted me to do and i felt prompted to do a semester at Byu Idaho- which was a little rough since classes had started a week before. But I trusted in the Lord and proved to him, and myself, that I trusted him by acting on the answer he gave me. 

So I talked to my parents and they got me completely ready for college literally the next day with minimal problems, which testified to me that it was God’s will that I go to college. God had acted in my life then immediately continued to act on the night my parents “abandoned” me in idaho. I was hardcore sobbing into a towel in the bathroom and i felt completely alone. I knew I needed to talk to someone but the only person was my roommate who i had literally met an hour ago. The lord told me to talk to her and I kinda acted like jonah, saying things like yeah right shes gonna think im a complete weirdo and a cry baby. But eventually the lord got through to me and I went and talked to my roommate who is actually an angel from heaven. She saw me crying and immediately dropped everything she was doing and helped me. I will be forever grateful to her for that night. SHe then became one of my best friends that semester and i think i would have gone home if it wasn't for her. 

Going to college was the best thing I could have done to prepare for a mission. It taught me how to live with difficult roommates, excluding the one mentioned above, how to manage a busy schedule, how to live on my own, and most importantly, how to rely on my heavenly father to take care of me. When I finished my semester of college and went home, I just remember thinking, ‘ wow. God really knows what He’s doing’. I don't think I would have been able to serve a full mission if I hadn't gone to college first. 

However, I still didn't feel completely ready for a mission- and Heavenly Father knew it. The next experience the lord gave to me to grow was a really difficult and trying one. 

It started In february on my way home from work when my cousin, who was at college with me, called me with heart wrenching news. One of our really close friends who was also his roommate had decided to take his life. It was the worst news id ever received and I cried and cried. It was pretty much my first taste of death and it was kind of the worst ever. I went up to idaho the next day to go be with my cousin and the rest of the people in our college friend group who were suffering including. My friends and I then spontaneously decided to go to our friends funeral in Missouri. Miraculously everything worked out with last minute flights and money. It was the hardest week of my life, and the funeral was quite possibly the worst day of my life. However, it strengthened my testimony about the resurrection and the fact that families can be together forever. It also showed me just how much God loves his children. Just one of the many examples of God's love was right after the funeral when we got to the cabin we were staying at. As we got out of the car and walked to the house a swarm of puppies greeted us. My dad will disagree with this, but I think puppies actually force a person to feel joy. It is physically impossible to feel sad when you're holding a puppy. And I believe God sent those puppies to us on the hardest day of our lives to bring some joy and sunshine to our dark and dreary souls. It reminded everyone that life goes on and that everything will be okay. I know that sounds kind of silly but I thought it was kind of a miracle. That despite all the gloom and tears on that day, God could still make us smile. This experience also started a fire in me. I just remember thinking over and over again how grateful I was to have a knowledge of the plan of

happiness and the resurrection and that there are people in this world who believe that when someone dies they will never see them again.It broke my heart. I just can't sit here while people suffer like that. They need to know that this is not the end! It renewed and solidified my desire to serve a mission. I went from oh yeah i think maybe i should serve a mission? To oh man let me get out there and share the gospel immediately! 

Life has definitely kicked me in teeth and ripped the rug out from underneath me, but wow did I need it. I'm a completely different person than I was a year ago and now I finally feel ready to serve a mission and i am undescribedly grateful to God for putting me through the refiners fire. Self doubt is poison to the mind and I definitely had a ton of it before I went to college and before my friends death. Naturally i still have some doubts and fears, but now, with the experiences the Lord has blessed me with I have confidence in myself and Heavenly Father to help me on my mission. 

Elder Rasband exclaims that “The Lord loves to be with us. It is no coincidence that when you are feeling His Spirit and acting on first promptings that you feel Him as He promised: “I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.” 

I can testify to this. I've experienced it and i have learned for myself that it is true. I have felt God’s support and help throughout this past year, ive felt him bear me up. I don't know where I would be without the gospel in my life or without my savior. The thought is absolutely terrifying to me. I know that God changed my plans so that I could become the person he knew i could be. Nothing is a coincidence, everything happens for a reason. When we accept this truth, life will become a little easier, especially when life throws us a curveball. One of my favorite scriptures is Mormon chapter five verse 22 which exclaims, “Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God?’ Do we know that? Do we believe it? Going along with that is a scripture in Psalms chapter 46 verse 10 which reads, ‘Be still, and know that I am God.’ God is in control. He’s got this! He knows what you need more than you. ‘Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.’ 

Going back to what elder Rasband said, “sometimes we consider changes in our plans as missteps in our journey. Think of them as first steps to being on the Lord's errand.” 

I really super love that because i feel like a lot of us, myself especially, get discouraged and depressed when things don’t work out. I definitely wasn't leaping for joy when the Lord told me to go to college before my mission. But it was exactly what I needed. We need to remember that God is in control. He knows us more than we know ourselves - better than anyone knows us. 

I just want to close with my testimony. I know without a doubt that this is God’s true church. How could it not be? The things i've experienced and felt testify of that and i could never deny them. I know God lives and loves his children. I know he sent his son to this world to suffer for our sins and provide us with hope and peace in this dark and gloomy world. I know Joseph Smith was a true prophet and that he translated the Book of Mormon. I know that when we trust in God with all our hearts that everything will always work out, just maybe not in the ways we had planned. I'm so grateful and excited to serve the people of Oregon and to bring them the good news of the gospel and I know that God will be with me and will go before my face. <3 <3 <3 <3